Kool Kat
by AeonXBorealis
Summary: Valentine's Day has hit Petropolis and it seems like everybody has a valentine except Kitty...until the mysterious freelance agent 'Kool Kat' shows up. Is Kool Kat the tomcat of Kitty's dreams or is he not exactly what he seems?
1. Chapter 1

{1}

Peter "Particular" Parrot anxiously hovered over the controls to the Petropolis nuclear reactor. He watched all of the display screens intently, making sure nothing went to critical level. Several times he peered over at the wall clock, willing the minute hand to move faster. Any minute now he'd be getting out of here and somebody else could take over his shift at the most boring job in the world.

Already, Peter led a pretty pitiful existence: he still lived in Mama Parrot's basement at age thirty-five and he hadn't had an official date since high school. If Peter had his way, he'd spend all day watching mindless reality TV, twelve more hours than he already did officially.

His eyes widened when he noticed the minute hand hovering over the 5...Almost, almost-

"Don't say a word," a smooth voice whispered in Peter's ear.

Next thing he knew, Peter had an arm wrapped tightly around his neck and the mouth of a laser gun was pointed at his beaked face. This had happened so many times before, Peter sighed heavily and slumped his shoulders. Another insane Petropolis villain looking to put the nuclear reactor past critical level and flood the city with uranium for some asinine, equally crazy reason.

Of course, the villain started dragging Peter towards the controls.

_Three, two, one_...Peter looked towards the front wall and waited for it to collapse. Things were silent and Peter started frantically counting off the seconds in his head. With each passing second, Peter started growing more and more unnerved. Where was T.U.F.F.?

"You're going to activate the nuclear reactors to go past critical level," the villain hissed, pressing the butt of the gun gruffly against Peter's head. "_Now_."

Peter yelped and started reaching out for the lever that would do exactly what the villain wanted-

"He will be doing nothing of the sort!" a loud voice announced.

Peter's eyes widened as a brilliantly executed round house kick sent the villain to the floor. The laser gun clattered to the floor and an orange tomcat in a long brown overcoat stepped into the light. Quickly, the tomcat picked up the nameless villain's weapon and pocketed it.

"You really saved my crackers! Thank you!" Peter pumped his rescuer's hand with the usual enthusiasm he gave every TUFF agent.

Once the official "thank you" hand shake was done, Peter returned to his usual boredom.

"I've never seen you before," he said. "Usually TUFF sends that idiot Dudley..."

"I don't work for TUFF," the tomcat said icily.

"Sorry..."

"And Dudley Puppy happens to be my _rival_."

"Okay..." Peter blinked, unsure of what to say next. "I'm going home now and continuing on with my bland, uneventful life."

"My name's Kool Kat," the tom said with a sharp, canine-filled smile. "Here's my card."

The tom tossed Peter his card and then disappeared into the shadows.

Frowning skeptically, Peter looked at the card:

_Kool Kat_

_Freelance Agent for Stopping Crime_

Maybe he could give Kool a call to attend bridge games with Mama Parrot. Dragging a thirty-five year old son to gatherings of old biddies was _definitely_ a crime...

Kitty sat at the desk in her tiny cubicle, absentmindedly chomping away at a tuna sandwich as she watched the clock on her own wall.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Keswick making goo-goo eyes at a female version of his species that Kitty could swear she hadn't known existed. In the office across from hers, the two bear agents, Mr. and Missy Bear, were really chatting it up. Even the chief had found a girl flea actually interested in him and they were wandering around the base, holding hands...

"We're walking around the base, holding hands!" the chief announced through a megaphone. "We're in LOOVE!"

Kitty rolled her eyes. They just _had_ to brag...

Bitterly, she took another huge bite of her sandwich and cursed the creation of Valentine's Day. It was just an excuse for couples to throw their happiness around and make single people feel jealous and stupid for being unattached.

As if her day couldn't get any worse, Dudley appeared outside of Kitty's office with a pretty French poodle girl on his arm, looking up at him with blue eyes. Remembering the Chameleon's previous shenanigans, Kitty instinctively had one of her hands hovering over her holstered laser gun.

"Hey Kitty! This is Frenchy." Dudley motioned at 'Frenchy' and she gave a small wave. "Frenchy, Kitty."

Frenchy stepped forward and extended her perfectly manicured hand. "_Bonjour_, Kitty. _Il est agréable de vous rencontrer. Comment êtes-vous aujourd'hui_?" she said in perfect, fluent French.

"_Bonne, je vous remercie_," Kitty replied.

Had the Chameleon been studying up on French? Kitty wasn't about to fall for the same trick twice. Warily, she leaned in closer to Frenchy, narrowing her eyes and studying the French poodle's gaze. Both of Frenchy's eyes were focused, not moving up and down or with any kind of tic like the Chameleon's did. But Kitty still wasn't convinced.

"I can't understand a word she says!" Dudley said with a laugh.

"_Je ne peux pas comprendre un mot qu'il dit_," Frenchy said, pointing at Dudley and laughing.

"I love her accent!" Dudley continued.

"_J'aime son accent_," Frenchy said, pinching Dudley's cheek.

They started looking at each other with big, sparkling eyes. Frenchy was pretty much repeating everything Dudley said in English in French. It kind of touched Kitty that their language differences weren't a barrier in forming a relationship, but she was disgusted as soon as Dudley and Frenchy started licking each other with their long, pink tongues.

Slobber was getting _everywhere _and Kitty had to duck over her sandwich to protect it from drool splatter.

"Get a room!" she complained.

Dudley pulled away from Frenchy, smiling like an idiot. "That's how dogs kiss in _France_," he said as if it were some cool, textbook fact.

Clutching her sandwich, Kitty dodged around the happy dog couple and raced to the bathroom. Maybe she'd at least find some peace in there if nowhere else today.


	2. Chapter 2

{2}

As soon as Kitty exited the bathroom, she heard a loud sloshing and slobbering sound. As soon as she turned, Dudley and Frenchy were hunched over the toilet bowl, tails wagging in happy, mindless unison. It always sickened Kitty to see dogs go after toilet bowls like chocolate donuts...Why did dogs have to be such..._dogs_?

Trying to keep her composure...and her lunch, Kitty ran away from the bathroom towards the front doors of T.U.F.F. HQ. As soon as she was outside, she ran towards the street and leaned over the hole opening towards the sewer. She could feel her stomach heaving and churning, a hair ball threatening to come up as she tried to quell the dancing image of Dudley drinking toilet water dancing around in her mind's eye.

Suddenly, a pair of angry red eyes looked up at her through the sewer hole.

Startled, Kitty took a step back and reached for her laser gun as a creature climbed up out of the hole...It was Snaptrap himself! Instantly, Kitty felt her nausea sink and sluff away; she lifted her laser gun and pointed it right at the evil rat mad scientist, ready to shoot at a moment's notice.

"_Snaptrap!_" she growled, baring her teeth. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Agent Kitty Katswell," he said with cool indifference. "You always have a pole stuck up your butt, don't you?"

Her eyes widened and she lowered her laser gun, shooting a pointed glare at him. "I think I have the right to be suspicious here...Seriously. You're in plain daylight. Right outside T.U.F.F. Headquarters...You're up to something."

"Why yes, I am," Snaptrap agreed with a gleeful chuckle. Kitty started to raise her laser gun again, but lowered it as she watched...something else clamber up out of the sewer to stand next to Snaptrap...and that person started snickering and cackling with just as much insidious glee as Snaptrap.

With tears leaking from his eyes, Snaptrap gestured at his new companion.

"Kitty," he said in an amicable tone, as if they were old friends. "This is my new girlfriend...Kelly! Isn't she the most beautiful woman in the entire _world_?"

Once again, Kitty felt a huge compulsion to barf. _Kelly _was a big, muscular rat that looked more masculine than feminine with a long mane of frosty blond hair and a...tattoo of Snaptrap on her shoulder. Smiling, she leaned towards Kitty and flexed her arm.

"We just met last week!" she said in a deep, manly voice. "He's the love of my life and we couldn't be happier! I made him promise to not attack T.U.F.F. Today...so no worries!"

Kitty attempted a smile, while her right eye twitched. She couldn't get herself to say anything since her nostrils were suddenly bombarded with the smell of three-week-old cheese. Eyes watering, she backed away and covered her face.

"Awww!" Snaptrap clasped his hands. "You're so happy for us you're _crying_? That's so sweet!" He extended his arm to Kelly. "Alright, darling. Ready to go to that new French bistro that happens to be right next door to T.U.F.F. and conveniently opened today...?"

Kitty's eyebrows raised as she watched Snaptrap and his new girlfriend stroll next door. As he'd said, there _was _a new French bistro right next door. It was a small, cute blond brick building with its name spelled out in curlicue, cursive letters and a striped blue and white canopy covering the front door. It was called: _Anchois Rance_, or Rancid Anchovy in French. Not really a romantic name for a restaurant, but Snaptrap and Kelly weren't the only customers. There were quite a few people inside.

Part of Kitty told her just to get back to work; it'd be easier to work through Valentine's Day and just get it done and over with. Who wanted to be in a restaurant filled with happy couples cooing at each other and kissing when her workplace was _already_ infested with the disease?

When she was turning to go, a smell assaulted her nose. An extremely tasty, irresistible smell...

Like a little kid at the mall on Christmas, Kitty rushed towards _Anchois Rance _and rushed through the front door. The bell tinkled behind her as she ran, smiling gleefully, towards the front counter. She just barely sat down before she found herself drooling and eying the display of cream puffs with eyes the size of bowling balls.

"Could I buy the lovely lady a cream puff?" asked a silky smooth voice.

Kitty immediately looked up from the display of confectionery treats. There was a tall bright orange tom cat in a long brown overcoat leaning against the counter top. He eyed Kitty with large green eyes and was purring, a low, deep purr.

"Um...hello," Kitty said, blinking, not sure what to say or how to react. What really unnerved her was that this newcomer had practically appeared out of thin air...

"Excuse me miss, but I couldn't help noticing such a lovely, beautiful girl such as yourself from across the room," he said. "May I buy you a cream puff?"

He'd just called her..._beautiful _and _lovely_? That sent up red flags; Kitty's eyes widened at the realization that this stranger was flirting with her. He winked at her and settled onto the red leather stool next to her, his tail flicking casually back and forth behind him.

She really shouldn't be in here at all; she should be getting back to work...

But it _was _technically still lunchtime and Kitty could hear her stomach growling. Though she couldn't possibly have this unfamiliar tomcat buy her a pastry...she wasn't really interested in him-

As soon as she started scrabbling in her pocket for money, the tom leaned towards the smiling pig man behind the counter and ordered two cream puffs. A moment later, Kitty was staring helplessly at a cream puff and the tom was smiling a charming, Don Juan brand of smile at her.

"You two should really think about going out..." the pig man encouraged, wiggling his eyebrows. "Nobody wants to be alone on Valentine's Day!"

That comment made Kitty look up and glare daggers, but the effect was lost, since he'd moved on down the line of counters to attend to an elephant couple farther down. The tom filled her line of vision again with that same smile on his face. She wanted to rip it off and toss it to the floor. Already she didn't like him with his smug, confident attitude, and those..._gorgeous _green eyes.

"Just so you know, my name is Kat, _Kool_ Kat," he said, leaning against the counter. "What might your name be, or do I need to call you Angel?" He smiled serenely. "Since you're obviously a fallen angel with how gorgeous you are?"

That pick-up line was so cheesy and overused, yet Kitty found herself blushing anyway.

"I'm Kitty Katswell," she said quickly, with a voice full of bravado as she raised her chin.

"_The_ Kitty Katswell?" Kool leaned against the counter. "I've seen your picture in the papers and personally, I must say, you're quite impressive. I've been wanting to make your acquaintance for some time now..."

As Kool talked, Kitty found herself distracted by the aroma of the cream puff. He kept talking and her gaze started shifting between him and the pastry. Over and over. _Kool, cream puff, Kool, cream puff..._

Unable to resist any longer, Kitty sniped up the cream puff and bit into it, savoring the taste of it. For a second, the rest of the world kind of dripped away like paint and she was lost in the sumptuous, delicious flavor of the cream puff. She was lost for several seconds, and once she'd finished the cream puff, she was startled to find Kool batting his paw back and forth in front of her face like a windshield wiper.

"Miss Katswell...?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.

"Sorry, sorry..." she mumbled, wiping her face on her sleeve.

"I see you were enjoying your cream puff...?" Kool smiled and chuckled.

"Yeah..." she said with a small, forced chuckle, feeling absolutely embarrassed.

"I was wondering something..."

Kitty looked back up at him, desperately trying to ignore the blush crawling across her face.

"Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?" he asked.

She blinked several times. "No..."

"Well, you have one now," he replied, grinning; his mouth was full of bright white, gleaming canines.


End file.
